Wearable humor--we have it covered, soup to nutjobs, cats to gods, puns to nuns, literal to figurative and back. Now cover yourself with one of our shirts!
NOTICE

Blather blather blather blather blather

No Offense!

Please select any topics that would offend you:

Help

Here is a quick overview of how to use this site.

One caution: Do NOT use your browser's Back button! This site functions more like an App than a web page; use its own buttons, links, and breadcrumbs to navigate.

Show Category: This drop-down list filters the designs that are displayed. For example: Show All Designs, Cats, Science / Geek, etc. Some designs are included in more than one category (hmmm, perhaps a gratuitous use of cats?). Note, the last item in the drop-down list (*Reset_Offensive_Filter*) opens the No Offense! dialog where you can specify topics that you would like hidden from view.

Info: You probably figured this one out already, else you wouldn't be reading this ;-). This button opens the Info page. Use the Topic drop-down list to select the desired Info topic. Click the X button to close the Info page.

Shopping Cart: This button displays the Shopping Cart. The number on the button indicates how many items are currently in your cart. To remove an item from the cart, click the red X button between the design's image and its title. To continue shopping, click the Shop More button. Else, click the Checkout button; the Email page will open.

Breadcrumb: This displays at the top of each page during checkout. A word in White text is a page you can click and go back to. A word in Black text on a white background is your current location in the checkout process. A word in Yellow text is a page you can click on to return to a more advanced page after having gone backward in the sequence. A word in Gray text on a black background is a page that you can't get to until you complete the pages that come before it.

Email Page: This is the first page of the checkout process; it is accessed via the Checkout button on the Cart page. To return to the Cart page, click Cart in the breadcrumb at the top of the page. Else complete the fields: Email, opt in or out of our newsletter, and How did you find us?. If you have a coupon, enter the code in the Coupon field and click the Apply button. The How find... field will appear as you complete the Email field; when the How find... field is complete, the Ship page will open.

Ship Page: Enter the address to ship your purchase to. When the address is complete, select the shipping option you prefer; the Pay page will open.

Pay Page: If your billing address is the same as your shipping address, leave the checkbox checked; else uncheck it and enter your billing address. Make sure the name field matches the name on your credit/debit card. Enter your card information. Click the Pay button to complete the transaction. The Results page will open. For more information on payment options, see the Payment Methods Info topic.

Results Page: Results are displayed for each step in the order submission process--ending with a final, "Thank You!" message. If anything goes wrong, an error message will be displayed, and, if appropriate, a button to go back and fix what is wrong.

HELP! If you didn't find what you need here, let us know: Contact Us

About eyeronic-Ts

Wearable humor--we have it covered, soup to nutjobs, cats to gods, puns to nuns, literal to figurative and back. Now cover yourself with one of our Tee shirts!

How We Got Here

We have had a passion for screen printed T-shirts since we were in grade school ... sometime back in the murky depths of the Twentieth Century. And, as aficionados tend to do, we decided to try our hand at producing that which we love. That early '90s attempt didn't last long, as our resources, space, and time were tight, but we learned a lot, and still have a shirt from that early foray into screen printing.

Now, on the other side of careers in the tech industry, we have revisited our love of wearable humor and birthed eyeronic-Ts.com. Besides providing the financial means, that career honed skills in graphic design, web development, and that contrary mix of wit, cynicism, and playful insight that marks our designs (see, project meetings do have a purpose!). So, unbeknownst to us, we had really been on the path to T-shirt nirvana all along.

Our Design Esthetic

Example of bold 1950s style print

We like bold, solid blocks of color reminiscent of block prints and the tribal art of the Pacific Northwest. And people from the 1950s, we really love the innocent, snarky edge the right '50s era visage can impart to a design.

The Subject Matter of Our Wearable Humor

Wearable humor ... yes, these T-shirts are supposed to be amusing, funny even. But we are aiming slightly higher than fart jokes, though we know we don't always make it (sorry!).

Amidst the word play and graphics are some serious topics, such as: abortion, faith, murderous zealotry, philosophy ... maybe even the meaning of life. We aim for the angle that reveals a glimpse of literal truth along with the laugh, in the hope of provoking thought along with the laughter. Besides, nothing is funnier than a truth well told. Of course, on sensitive topics this risks offense, which turns off higher brain function, which is not our intent.

That said, we are not the only ones to have found a truth and a bit of humor in these topics:

Church sign that says, Some things need to be believed to be seen.Faith-based T-shirt, aka I'll see it when I believe it.

Why "eyeronic"?

Our name is a portmanteau of eye and ironic, though with the added oddity of being pronounced the same as ironic alone. Some of our designs are ironic, and most (all?) include some graphical element (eye candy) that supports the textual aspect of the design. And because graphonic would have been stupid

New Design eMail

If you want to know when we add new designs to the site, use the form below. You'll receive, at most, four eMails per year about new designs and special promotions for existing customers. To unsubscribe, simply reply to a New Design eMail and say that you want to unsubscribe.

NOTES

  • You also have the option to opt in or out during the checkout process.
  • We will NOT share your eMail address. See Privacy.

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Garment Styles

We print on the following garment styles. All are premium quality brands and styles. We will not waste your time, or ours, printing on the cheap, pilly, "disposable" garments commonly used for corporate swag and overpriced concert/event shirts.

  • Short-Sleeved T-Shirts:

    All shirts are 100% cotton, except for some variations of the Athletic Gray color, which are 1-10% polyester.

    • Women's Slim Tee

      A style for those on the thin, twiggy side. Made from soft, 32-singles, 4.3oz., 100% ringspun cotton (gray is 10% polyester). Available in XS to 3X (0 - 20).
      If you have more generous curves, you may prefer the Relax style. NOTE Both styles have an HOURGLASS shape, or waist. See one of the men's styles if you don't want that. Next Level #3900.

    • Women's Relax Tee

      A women's tee that is realistically sized for women with curves. It nips in at the waist and flares at the hips. Made from soft, 30-singles, 4.2oz., 100% ringspun cotton (gray is 10% polyester). NOTE This style has an HOURGLASS shape, or waist. See one of the men's styles if you don't want that. Available in Small to 2X (10-26). Bella #6400.

    • Men's Slim Tee

      A fitted style shirt made from soft, high-strength, 30 or 32 singles, 4.3oz., 100% ringspun cotton (some grays are 10% polyester). Either the American Apparel 2001 or Next Level 3600, depending on availability (and what happens with American Apparel going forward). Available in XS to 4X.

    • Men's Boxy Tee

      A heavier-weight, boxier-cut, old-school men's T-shirt made from soft, high-strength, 6.1oz., 100% ringspun cotton (except for grays, which are 1 to 10% polyester). This has larger sleeves and armholes than the Slim Tee and is cut in a less form-fitting style. Hanes Beefy-T #5180. Available in Small to 5X.

  • Tank Tops

    Women's Relax Tank Top

    A fine jersey women's tank top that is realistically sized for women with curves. It nips in at the waist and flares at the hips. Made from soft, 30-singles, 4.2oz., 100% ringspun cotton. NOTE This style has an HOURGLASS shape, or waist. Available in Small to 2X (10-26). Bella #6488.

  • Pullover Hoodies

    Unisex, Hanes Ultimate Cotton - F170

    Heavy (9.7 oz fleece*) pullover hoodie with cotton spandex cuffs and waist. Two-ply hood. Front pouch pocket. Available in Small to 3X. All are 90% cotton, 10% polyester, except for Gray--which is 15% polyester. Hoodies will be printed on the BACK.

  • Zip-Up Hoodies

    Unisex, Hanes Ultimate Cotton - F280

    Heavy (9.7 oz fleece*) hoodie with full-length metal zipper and cotton spandex cuffs and waist. Two-ply hood. Front pouch pockets. Available in Small to 3X. All are 90% cotton, 10% polyester, except for Gray--which is 15% polyester. Hoodies will be printed on the BACK.

  • Sweatshirts

    Unisex, Hanes Ultimate Cotton - F260

    Heavy (9.7 oz fleece*) sweatshirt with cotton spandex cuffs and waist. Available in Small to 3X. All are 90% cotton, 10% polyester, except for Gray--which is 15% polyester.

*A Note About Fleece: Due to the thick, squishy nature of fleece, prints on these garments may not be as sharp and crisp as those on tees and tanks. For this reason, multicolor designs and halftone designs are not offered on the fleece garments.

Brands


We Use American Apparel - Click to learn more

Sizes/Fitment

Each style and brand of garment fits differently. See Garment Fitment to compare the measurements of each style and brand. Garments made of 100% cotton will shrink a bit over time, even though all have been preshrunk by the manufacturer. See Garment Care.

Garment Fitment

The following tables detail garment dimensions. Chest is the circumference of the garment measured one inch below the sleeve. Length is measured from the highest point near the neck to the bottom edge.

Women's Slim Tee

SizeChestLength
XS (0)3024 3/4
Sm (2)3225 3/8
Md (6)3426
Lg (10)3626 5/8
1X (14)3927 1/4
2X (18)4227 7/8
3X (20)4528 1/2

Women's Relax Tee or Tank

SizeChestLength
Sm (10)3625 1/4
Md (14)3925 7/8
Lg (18)4326 1/2
1X (22)4727 1/8
2X (26)5127 3/4

Men's Slim Tee

SizeChestLength
XS3527
Sm3828
Md4129
Lg4430
1X4831
2X5232
3X5633
4X6034

Men's Boxy Tee

SizeChestLength
Sm3628
Md4029
Lg4430
1X4831
2X5233
3X5634
4X6035
5X6436

Men's, Hanes F170 Pullover Hoodie & F280 Zip-Up Hoodie & F260 Sweatshirt

SizeChestLength
Sm3628
Md4029
Lg4430
1X4831
2X5233
3X5634


NOTES

  • Not all sizes and styles are available in all colors.
  • For details about materials used in each brand and style, see Garment Styles.
  • Garments made of 100% cotton will shrink a bit over time, even though all have been preshrunk by the manufacturer. See Garment Care.

Garment Care

When it comes to washing shirts, we here at eyeronic-Ts.com are traditionalists. Please wash them only in COLD water, preferably in a running stream with a nice assortment of smooth, round stones on which to beat them.

Okay, we might be kidding, just a little...

To get the longest life out of both the design and the shirt itself, turn the shirt inside out, avoid the hot setting when washing and when drying, and use a front-loading washing machine (which tend to be gentler on everything, use less water, and get things cleaner). To really extend the life of a garment, hang it to dry rather than using a dryer. I did this in my youth (yes, I was, and am, a T-shirt nut) and as a result, I have a few imprinted T-shirts that have survived since the late 1970's, but that sort of longevity is not to be expected of any natural fiber garment.

Shrinkage

Cotton garments shrink when washed. Those who claim otherwise are either: seriously misguided, lying, or mistaking cotton/poly blends for 100% cotton. Though the garment styles we carry are preshrunk, they will continue to shrink over the life of the garment--most noticeable in the first few washings. If you are used to wearing 100% cotton garments, this will come as no surprise to you!

For details about materials used in each brand and style, see Garment Styles.

The Ink We Use

For durability and comfort, we use only modern water-based inks. These inks penetrate into the fabric and are softer to the touch and less rubbery feeling than traditional inks that sit on top of the fabric. They add less weight to the fabric and are less prone to growing stiff and cracking over time.

That said, white ink, and the inks printed on dark shirts, must be high opacity, so will have more "hand" or feel to it than black ink printed on white or light-colored shirts.

Our inks are PVC, Phthalate, and heavy metal free.

We do not use Plastisol, but it is what most screen-printed shirts used to be printed with, and many still are. Plastisol is a Polyvinyl Chloride (PVC) ink. As such, it sits on the surface of the fabric and has a plastic, rubbery feel. It adds some stiffness and weight--especially when used on large areas. Over time, it gets stiffer and tends to crack.

Below is an example of an old shirt with cracked Plastisol ink.

Why Do 2XL-5XL Shirts Cost More?

Good question!

The Short Answer

Because distributors charge us (and everyone else) more for them.

A Longer, More Speculative, Answer

As far as we can determine, there are two reasons for the higher price of 2XL-5XL shirts. ONE: They contain more materials as well as more linear inches of stitching (and thus labor). TWO: They are a low volume item. Such are the economics of manufacturing, inventory management, and accounting that the fewer of something that is produced, the more each unit costs.

A look at the other end of the size spectrum may be instructive. XS and S shirts contain less material, but they are low volume sizes, so rather than being cheaper than M, L, or XL, they are the same price. 2XL-5XL require more material AND are low volume sizes, so a double price whammy.

That's our best shot at an explanation. We understand that this may not be very satisfying from a consumer perspective. If there is another explanation, we are not privy to it.

Payment Methods

We accept payment via credit card and debit card from the typical card providers. This means Visa, MasterCard, and Discover with 16 digits; American Express with 15 digits; and Carte Blanche and Diners Club with 14 digits. Note that some cards are "co-branded," for example a Diners Club that includes a MasterCard logo and is thus really just a regular old 16-digit MasterCard--we accept those.

We do not (yet) accept the rumored 19-digit cards. If you have such a card and desperately wanted to use it on our site, please let us know (Contact Us).
We do not accept archaic 12 and 13 digit cards.

If you desperately prefer to use PayPal rather than a card, please let us know (Contact Us). I'm a fan of PayPal and prefer to use it myself, but--baring significant interest on your part--I won't take the time to implement another payment option.

About Security

None of your financial data or account numbers are ever present on our server. In fact, we never see them, so you do not have to worry about our server being hacked or our cleaning lady stealing your information. You may wonder how this is possible.

It works like this. When you click the Pay button on our site, your card information is encrypted and transferred to Stripe, the company that processes our payments, directly from your computer/phone/iPOD/whatever. Stripe then sends notice of this transaction (but not your card information) to our server so we know that the transaction was completed.

Shipping

We ship to addresses in the USA, as well as APO/FPO/DPO (see below) addresses, and most other places in the world.

Shipping Costs

We calculate and display the shipping costs right after you fill in the shipping address, so you can consider the total cost of your order before providing payment information. Our shipping costs are quite competitive, as we do not sneak in extra profit in the guise of higher shipping costs. That said, international shipping is expensive compared to domestic shipping and there is nothing we can do about that. Further, any duties, taxes, etc associated with international shipping are entirely the fault of the government wherever you live, and it is your responsibility to pay (or change the government); we will not mark your packages as "gifts," or whatever, to circumvent duties.

Fulfillment Time

I print all items myself, so they are FRESH off the press! Turnaround time is 1 - 10 days, but typically 2 or 3, depending on what designs I am printing on a given day and when your order came in. If you need a quick turnaround, mention your "need by date" in a note (Contact Us), and I'll let you know if I can do it. Thanks!

You will receive an email with a tracking number when we ship your package. If ten business days have come and gone and there is no sign of a tracking-number email, please Contact Us.

Shipping Methods

We use USPS First Class and USPS Priority depending on the quantity of the order and its destination. For quite large orders we may use UPS or FedEx if it would be more economical to do so; in which case we would refund the difference in shipping costs back to you.

APO/FPO/DPO Shipping Details

If you wish to ship to an APO/FPO/DPO address, please make sure that you have all the necessary information. We will not be responsible for items that never make it to the desired location (shipping insurance does not cover the entire journey).

NOTE We will send all APO/FPO/DPO via Priority USPS. We do this because First Class would be sent via ship and may take months to ultimately reach its destination. Priority USPS is sent via plane... though the final leg of the journey may be by other means, depending upon the destination.

No parcels of any kind are allowed to be shipped to some destinations. If you are at one of these destinations, I suppose that you are already well aware of that fact.

The address must include:

  • Grade
  • Full Name (including middle name or initial, if any)
  • PSC Number, Unit Number, or Ship Name
  • APO (Army Post Office), FPO (Fleet Post Office), or DPO (Diplomatic Post Office)
    Use these designations instead of a city.
  • AA (Armed Forces Americas), AE (Armed Forces Europe), or AP (Armed Forces Pacific)
    Use these designations instead of a state.
  • Military ZIP code

Below are a few examples copied from the USPS web site:

CPT JOHN DOE
UNIT 2050 BOX 4190
APO AP 96278-2050

SGT ROBERT SMITH
PSC 802 BOX 74
APO AE 09499-0074

SEAMAN JOSEPH SMITH
USCGC HAMILTON
FPO AP 96667-3931

MSG JANE DOE
CMR 1250
APO AA 09045-1000

Returning a Garment

If there is a problem with your order, please contact us as soon as possible.

You Received a Defective, or the Wrong, Garment

In short, it is clearly our fault. Sorry!

We will replace any incorrect or defective item at no additional expense to you.

You've Had Second Thoughts About the Size, Design, etc.

In short, you received a proper specimen of exactly what you ordered, but are dissatisfied with it for unforseen reasons.

We accept exchanges of unworn (other than to try on) unwashed items in their original condition. You pay shipping both ways.

We will NOT accept:

  • Returns of Large Volume Orders: If you are ordering for a group or organization, please be sure of your sizing needs before placing the order. We recommend ordering samples to verify the suitability of the garments to your purpose.

  • Returns of Special Orders: Orders of garment types, styles, sizes, or colors that we do not ordinarily stock.

  • Changes and Cancellations: If you make a change or cancellation request before we start work on your order, we may--solely at our discretion--change or cancel it per your desire. However, once we have irrevocably committed time and materials to your order, you will be expected to pay for it.

Gifts: We realize that garments purchased as gifts may delay the discovery of fitment issues until after the gift-giving event. With that in mind, we will accept returns up to 90-days after the date the order was placed. However, the best outcome for everyone is to get it right the first time, so we HIGHLY encourage you to ask the target of your gift giving what size they prefer in the particular style and brand of garment you are buying for them. Print out the fitment charts on the Garment Fitment page and let them pick the correct size for themselves.

Return Form

Please complete the following form. If you no longer have your Order# (from the packing slip or the receipt emailed to you), please include your name, shipping address, and the approximate date of the purchase in the Problem Description field.

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Web Browsers

This mobile-friendly site uses HTML5 and javascript. Absolutely no effort has been made to support old clunkers, such as Microsoft's Internet Explorer 8. The oldest compatible version of Internet Explorer is 9.

Any version of any non-Microsoft browser you are likely to have is likely to work. We test for a key required capability before the site loads and display an alert if your browser is non-compliant ... so if you didn't see the alert, your browser passed that test. Non-compliant browsers will be able to view and browse items, but the shopping cart and checkout process will not work for them.

The Back Button: Do not click your browser's Back button unless you wish to leave our site and return to whatever site you were on before this. This site works more like an application than a collection of separate web pages, so you must use its own buttons and controls to navigate its content.

Standard Privacy Blather

We will NOT sell, give, lend, or trade your eMail or physical address to any entity, public or private--Except for the obvious necessity of providing a shipping label and tracking number for your package.

We will NOT store your eMail or physical address on our server on the internet.

We will NOT contact you, except: 1) To facilitate and complete a transaction to purchase or return a garment as instigated by you. 2) To answer questions or reply to comments/suggestions as instigated by you via the Contact Us form. 3) Up to four times a year--IF you have opted to receive our newsletter. In it, we provide notice that we have new designs on the site and/or are having a special promotion for existing customers. To unsubscribe, simply reply to the eMail and say that you wish to unsubcribe. To subscribe, make sure the option is selected at checkout, or use the New Design eMail sign-up form.

We NEVER have possession of your financial information, so we cannot sell it, or lose it, to others. See Payment Methods.

Do You Wholesale to Retailers?

Yes! However, not from this page.

For information on purchasing on a wholesale basis, see the eyeronic-Ts wholesale portal:
https://www.eyeronic-ts.com/wholesale.html

Contact Us

Love our designs? Hate our designs? The web site not working right for you? We'd like to hear from you. If something about the web site did not function correctly, please tell us what version of which browser you were using and what type of device you were using it on, so we can better troubleshoot the issue.

NOTE If you wish to return a garment, see Returns, and use the form on that page.

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Do NOT use your browser's Back button!
Use the breadcrumb above if you wish to go back to a previous page of Checkout.

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Coupon:

 

 

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Address Line 2: Optional, if needed

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The Fine Print


We will NOT accept:

  • Returns of Large Volume Orders: If you are ordering for a group or organization, please be sure of your sizing needs before placing the order. We recommend ordering samples to verify the suitability of the garments to your purpose.

  • Returns of Special Orders: Orders of garment types, styles, sizes, or colors that we do not ordinarily stock.

  • Changes and Cancellations: If you make a change or cancellation request before we start work on your order, we may--solely at our discretion--change or cancel it per your desire. However, once we have irrevocably committed time and materials to your order, you will be expected to pay for it.

If You Receive a Defective, or the Wrong, Garment

In short, it is clearly our fault. Sorry! We will replace any incorrect or defective item at no additional expense to you.

If You Have Second Thoughts About the Size, Design, etc.

In short, you receive a proper specimen of exactly what you ordered, but are dissatisfied with it for unforseen reasons. We accept exchanges of unworn (other than to try on) unwashed items in their original condition. You pay shipping both ways.

90-Day Return

We realize that garments purchased as gifts may delay the discovery of fitment issues until after the gift-giving event. With that in mind, we will accept returns up to 90-days after the date the order was placed.

Gifts

The best outcome for everyone is to get it right the first time, so we HIGHLY encourage you to ask the target of your gift giving what size they prefer in the particular style and brand of garment you are buying for them. Print out the fitment charts on the Garment Fitment page and let them pick the correct size for themselves.

Results

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